In a Day | Ramblings

Originally started on May 4, 2025

May 4, 2025
Premise:
I feel so in the middle of things cognitively today, like I spilled milk on the ground and did not have time to clean it up properly and there are still dust collectively, metaphorically.
I don't feel tired in a traditional "okay we're done" or "okay my body feels tired from working so hard today" sense. I feel like I just encountered cognitive dissonance, so it feels messy, even if I journalized about it to address it and concluded that entire discussion.
It feels like I'm still in between things, not entirely here or there. It feels like there is still much adjustment happening, if not cognitive dissonance.
I guess I can point it to a list of factors that occurred between May 3, 2025, 4:46 PM and May 4, 2025, 2:20 AM.
Factors:
The family is going out to my grandmother's church a long drive away (used to be 2 hours, but it might only be 45 minutes to 1 hour) around 6 hours from now as of writing. It is for her 70th birthday.
I am in the middle of AFK 2012 Roblox RPG grind on the second monitor.
I have books that I was planning to read on the table.
I just ate two dishes: kare-kare and beef stew
I just brushed my teeth
It is 1:49 AM, and while I do usually stay up, I often sleep around 9 PM. The reason that I am awake is that I slept in the afternoon too long and woke up hours later. I don't feel groggy because of it, but because it coincides with the family outing, among other things, it is a factor.
My youngest brother went into my room to look for the magic 8-ball, and he also asked me about the laptop. I told him that my father gave it to him already. It was given around a week ago. But he only knew now. I told him that it was given to him, and he said, "Not that laptop," referring to another previous laptop (either the old one that is likely already broken or my second-to-youngest brother's current laptop, which used to belong to my second-to-eldest half-brother). But I mentioned that I was referring to the laptop he was looking for, the one that he originally was using, but he gave that to me, and I was able to use it many times at the cafe.
I am still in the middle of processing many changes: Discord CEO leaving, a rare browse through Discord Roblox servers (Tearose Library, Tale of the Prodigious Swords RPG, and Roblox Library Community), Teamspeak continuing to make highly Gen Z(?) memes on Twitter since I last checked, Pinterest mass-banning accounts using AI (which prompted me to go and back up my Pinterest photos and consider Pinterest alternatives such as Refern and Cosmos and make accounts and browse there, particularly in the former enough to express distaste at a particular consistent pattern of photos coming up, and which prompted to browse through the Google Play Store and Apple App Store for the new 1 star reviews under Pinterest), a first-time browsing through older memes via r/ComedyCemetery and r/ComedyArchaeology
Having an entire discussion with an AI language model (Gemini 2.5 Pro Preview 03-25) referencing a comment section snippet in a particular post in r/writing. It was about questioning myself after seeing the statement "write what you want to read", since I read widely enough that my writing could barely adopt a single one fully, or even a proper explicit synthesis of all of them and since I read often what I did not write and wrote what I did not read, given that writing was about filling in the gap that reading could not fill like a lack of exploration of a particular subject or just personal contextualization and statement qualification (nuance). After going back and forth in cognitive dissonance, I eventually reached a point where I concluded that I intellectually disagreed with it, but found it hard to reconcile all of the things that made me believe it over myself initially. I talked at length messily about it, and I terminated the discussion with a look at the benefits of journaling and the usefulness of the passage/discussion itself.
Having seen a post on r/jschlatt saying do yall goon to femboys in the title with a photo of Silly Cat—that is a character created by the artist Mauzymice—and that is known by a nickname on the internet, the Boykisser. While I have stumbled upon the r/boykisser many months before (before it got taken down, or according to Reddit, "privated", and replaced with r/boykisser2 which also got taken down and then replaced with the current r/boykisser3 as of writing) and was surprised, I am still processing all of the changes that have happened over the last decade. This is a very particular development, and I have not had time to discuss it at all. While I have been prepared with all of these femboy jokes in anime spaces, and "gay" jokes in Youtube Shorts and even in earlier Youtube, the use of the Silly Cat and the particular format of the memes felt so new to me in a way that I could not keep up with. It was like learning a new genre after anime, if that makes sense
I've been replacing all of my journal entries with actual dates, and I've been doing it manually, since it is only 124 entries. I did have AI language models read all the entries and give them each titles (though only counting up to 121, which means that 3 were not taken into account), but I am going to add the titles all manually to the frontmatter of the Markdown files themselves, since I am using Hugo.
I've also been going through a document containing all of my Google Docs documents, and I've been dating them since they only had titles when I exported all of my documents through Google Takeout. This means that I go directly to Google Drive, search a key word or phrase in the search bar, and then look at the Last Modified Date in order to match the dates to the documents correctly. I've also been giving many of them titles with the help of an AI language model since at least a hundred of them are just Untitled document.
I've also been having an AI image generator create a book cover and an accompanying back cover for all of my fiction passages each, using an AI language model to create the prompt based on the passage itself. It does not matter what length, since I have a website where all the various lengths are accounted for. I am slowly doing this and synchronizing this with the titling and dating of the Google Docs documents. Given that I can only have about 4 images per account and only have 3 accounts and need to wait around 24 hours (which starts as soon as I hit the limit) before it resets for each account, I can only produce for about 6 fiction works per day. While this is a big number, synchronizing this simultaneously with the current entries that are now available will take a while, since I am not just trying to chip one by one but am actively trying to systematize. In other words, instead of just grabbing random entries one by one, I am actively systematizing them with the end goal of integrating them all into this book cover–back cover treatment.
I'm going to have an AI language model create a 20,000-word analysis of my writing style changes over time, which is the main reason that I started titling and dating the Google Docs documents in the first place. And these documents currently cover 2021 to 2022, but they will include up to 2025. I am also considering going through a 679,249-word journal text file journal here textpad 3.txt—one of 21 main parts of the whole autobiography-journal—and I will be doing the same thing that I did to the Google docs document, but with titling and standardization and integration into my current Hugo one-text-file-per-journal-entry system.
I've been coming to terms with older Roblox games such as Noob VS Zombie (NvZ) by SuperEvilAzmil (who currently has the display name Astrogenic), who I've learned has been trying to make the 2.0 version of NvZ for many years since it was first released in September 2012 according to a 2019 Discord message screenshot and a 2017 video of SuperEvilAzmil themselves screen-sharing them testing NvZ 2.0. I myself am personally familiar with NvZ 1.0, which is around 2012 and 2013 and do not know the 2.0 version of 2014. Given that I mentioned 2.0 in 2014 and 2.0 in 2017 and 2019, I assume that there are differences between them, because according to a 2014 Roblox video containing a link to the game, it was already 2.0 at that point, even mentioning that it was going to transform to 3.0 next year. The current NvZ game is privated and unavailable, so I assume that the 2.0 is not the one from 2.0, but something else entirely, probably something that involves a very big update. A video back in August 2013 captures closesly what I remember playing.
On a side note, I also learned about TheCrestedOne who was the one who sold the VIP shirts in the group tied to NvZ Noob Vs Zombie Fan Club, and I could see that in the description of the one of the shirts that at one point, the title of the game according to the link in the shirt description included Biggest Update in Progress right.
SuperEvilAzmil maintains one game displayed in his profile titled The Zombie's Onslaught. Though I have no details as to what kind of game it is, except for the fact that it used the classic  Roblox R6 green-brown Zombie design
I had the two analyses 2019 vs. 2025.md (renamed to The Stylistic Divide Between 2019 vs. 2025.md) and Writing.md (renamed to Mapping the Evolution of a Writer.md) that I already made of my writings styles analyzed by an AI language model, and given that they do not cover everything and I have been wanting to have many other  stories (especially the ones in 2024 and 2025, the ones from journal here textpad 3.txt in particular) analyzed and systematized already, this led to me feeling incentivized to consider the 3rd analysis, which is why I am dating and titling the Google Docs documents.
Then, I had an entire conversation talking about audio book narration because I was prompted to use a Google Docs document (the first document as part of the Google Docs dating and titling task) as an exercise to practice narration. This happened right after I recorded a 5.25 GB 00:43:48 video of me narrating a less than 10% of the selected "exercise" document. I specifically mentioned Richard Poe's narration of Cormac McCarthy's Blood Meridian and an edit combining a snippet of his narration, specifically that of the speech of the character "Judge Holden", and a slowed + reverb version of the song Dark Red by Steve Lacy. It was also during this conversation that I first learned of the Shift + D shortcut to do a "punch-and-roll" in the audio editor and recording application Audacity.
Randomly, I thought about ShadowFlare and who made the art, looking at the Wikipedia page and checking the developer Denyusha, discovering that their Nintendo Fandom wiki page did not mention ShadowFlare at all. I also noticed a contradiction where the page said "April, 2002" for the founding for Denyusha, when ShadowFlare was released first in 2001.
I also re-listened to the original soundtrack Hopes and Dreams from the 2015 game Undertale. Listening to it made me feel like I was hearing my younger self crying, and I had an conversation about it with an AI language model, lasting 2 back-and-forths (4 exchanges in total) between us.
I also checked one of DanTDM's secondary channels, Dan & Tray, having checked previously at least two times since its last video was published. This confirms DanTDM's distance from it. Looking at DanTDM's channel itself reminded me of how old he and I am. Long gone were the early Minecraft days when his current videos were the popular ones. The fact that the most recent popular videos that shows up in the videos when searched DanTDM is a drama between him and Youtubers KSI, Logan, and Mr. Beast reinforces this notion that times have changed drastically since the early 2010s.
I did not really listen to music as intentionally today, besides Hopes and Dreams and letting Youtube auto-play older game songs like The Great Strategy (2005) and Opening Theme by Daniel Bautista, but I did browse through Reddit and Youtube Shorts more than usual, especially the former. I saw all kinds of pop culture posts like ones about the character Goddess Erina from Sinbad (2003) being attractive and how fluid and perfect the animations were for her.
I also went and reminded myself of The Mana World, a 2D free and open source MMORPG that has been going on since 2004 and is continuing today with 20 players as of writing and was lasted updated on April 12, 2025. These were the usernames: Hello=), Raffe, ginosuper, cuoco, Zorr0, Lil Snarfles, DontStop, Dreid, Verimon, HoraK, Hi=) (ADM), quequ1, Lya., Water, supercuoco (GM), Scratchy Demon, Kampfzwerg, 1nnq, 1mrepo, Saiyajin.
One thing that I noticed was the use of the terms "specing" and "stipid" in "Fixed stipid bug: slimes sometimes not split (Hello=))." Even if "specing" is an actual term, it is likely a username, since the format of the update log uses parenthesis at the end to indicate a username, probably citing for contribution. Hello=) themselves wrote the post.
I also learned that Skype is closing down, and it was doing so tomorrow. It is currently May 4, 2025, but I am in Philippine time, so it will likely close 12 hours after my time reaches May 5, 2025, if Skype is using New York time, that is.
I also learned about jester777 from a Reddit post titled Age of consent from r/ComedyHell, who is one of those fucked-up deep-in-the-internet people who say the most horrible things blatantly in a self-convinced way without sources. Conspiracy theories all around in his profile in the character AI platform chub.ai. The post is how I learned of the alt-right term longhouse.
I was reminded that Gawr Gura just graduated on May 1, 2025, after announcing on April 16, 2025. Similarly, lighthousenovel.pub, a piracy novel reading site, is closing down in a month or so, presumably after they asked permission to wait until the end of this May.
I learned about several other things.
A user saying in a post from 4 months ago about him leaving the r/jschlatt because it was full of femboys, which indicates that the boykisser trend in the subreddit has already been a big part since that time.
r/Humanornot getting filled with "femboy gooning" posts and a post addressing this.
r/youngpeopleyoutube already caught in a possibly one-off assumption that it was becoming r/kidsarefuckingstupid because of a post that got more than 1,000 upvotes being interpreted as "hating" on a "wholesome" Youtube comment by a 10-year-old child about liking learning about planes. It was cross-posted to r/youngpeoplewholesome in line with the "wholesome" interpretation of the comment.
A post from r/antimeme from one of its moderations talking about resigning from r/antimeme due to unfair restrictions and neglect and launching a new alternative subreddit r/antimemes.
Meta-Conclusion:
This is practically a summary of everything that I browsed during this time.
This is the first time that I've summarized my entire browsing day, maybe not my entire day as a whole and everything that I ate, but we're getting there.
This is a breakthrough, since a main goal of writing and documentation is moving from only analyzing, archiving, and documenting the past to treating the present the same way. 
This would be practically impossible 3 years ago, but since July 4, 2023, 671 days ago, when I started the autobiography-journal, I have rapidly grown to 3.1 million words, and recently, I made my first rapid-fire list of 8 web novel reviews and have now made this whole 9.5-hour browsing summary, one of a kind, the very coherent and comprehensive first.
I feel much better after writing this passage and the browsing summary. The cognitive messiness has long dissipated, and I feel much more grateful to have a bed that I can sleep on (the floor, which I do love). I do not feel as overwhelmed and restless anymore. I feel comfortable, warm, and cozy. It feels nice to be able to process all that information through this entire passage.
Self-responses: 
Summarizing an entire day like this is so weird. It feels alien I think to see someone do so.
Imagine if they continued this practice for 600 days. You could see every single day! If they extended it to reality? If they extended it to traveling and cafe visits and even going downstairs to get water and food? Counting the number of water they drank and how much they urinated? That would be a little interesting, don't you think, even if a little much to process the idea of?
The fact that the browsing summary provided already shows how seemingly disparate things lead to other things and are the direct cause of those other things, even if they are utterly unrelated on a first glance or without context. The author knits them all together. I can only imagine having all of them combined.
I don't think it would necessarily be a privacy nightmare, and I think that it could be a valuable way to be much more intentional, not necessarily obsessive. It could be enjoyable and a productive way to process an often stream-of-consciousness life in a way that feels less arbitrary. To explain why I don't think it would necessarily be a privacy concern, it is not as if they are showing any personal detail. Browsing is pretty tame for the most part, and going outside can easily be covered up. And the author does not necessarily have to show what they're writing. It is not as if they're giving way the browsing history itself or videos of them actually going outside from door to cafe back to home.  They're summarizing, so they have the advantage of focusing on a summary, not an exposure or data leak.
If it helps them appreciate life more, then I don't see why not. Being able to be with your grandmother because you don't have to think about what happens and you can just immerse yourself in the moment without worrying at all about missing anything is great. One can easily just recall it later and summarize once one has the time. There is no need to do it in the now. Summaries work because you do it at the end of a journey or day.