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Samuel Joshua Pe's Identity
September 21, 2012, 9 years old — me and my classmates and teachers from elementary all wearing uniforms at a national student convention, inside large buildingMay 24, 2013, 10 years old — me and my close church friends about to leave on a trip to a Christian event with so many bags, with the supermarket in the background, outdoorsJuly 26, 2013, 10 years old — me and my former teacher from elementary cooking in a classroom, indoorsDecember 18, 2013, 10 years old — me and my close male church friends posing in the street with the classic orange light making us look very dim, outdoors

I think that if you traveled a lot pre-Grab, as long as you were hanging out with the Christian Filipino middle-classers—with potlucks, group banter and prayers, carpooling, and Facebook chat travel planning and post-event tagged photos—you would have probably ended up feeling like a kind of a tourist, as is depicted by those television shows with all of their little attempts at summarizing the Filipino human condition, the corruption, poverty, density, family ties, and gentrifying upper class and all, without the traumatic collision between average and out-of-touch. Going to camps, sports fests, music fests, concerts, literary fests, and Bible Bowls; attending seminars and workshops; participating and volunteering in praise-and-worship teams, outreaches, community cleaning, and daily vacation Bible schools; and going to spiritual gatherings—trying to have a relationship with God in a regional way. All of it came face to face with the reality of the car-less individual, the one who can barely handle the pressure-heat of those bright orange privileged mall lights. You were staring all the time at nature, and even with jeepneys, buses, trains, pedicabs, and tricycles, you were inevitably staring out into the streets, even as you walked along the sidewalks, because there was this incapacity that had to be acknowledged—the distance between people even as one attempted so much to connect through spiritual communities where class might have both blurred and been reinforced depending on location alone, whether in a multi-purpose skycraper or in some subdivision that wasn't thoroughly occupied by the elites. A place like Metro Manila. The casual classism, social weaving callousness, religious hand-washing, mental struggles, and ineffable coping among the privileged. The humanity, unforgiving lives, and shared lessons of the underclass. The inability to resist neurotic creep. The rage that one incurred as a result. The urge to impose, the drive to demand the concentration of the energies of all into one. The inability to say no. 

Recently, I frequent Starbucks, going there at least twice a month, each visit in a new location throughout the region. I write, study, and read there, with my laptop, keyboard, USB-C monitor, headphones, mouse, phone, and physical and digital books. My rage is socially acceptable (sublimated).

Nevertheless, this is only one aspect of my identity. I had a great, "highly buffered" childhood (up to 14 years old, that is), and the details certainly will complicate final says and interpretations.

jeepneydirt roadOlder brother/Sir, PC 5 is almost out [of time]/please log him out already.
Oh, it was actually PC 4, sorry.
Kid who's at PC 5:

Being a Filipino, I've never really...

Sorbetes (street ice cream)Pasalubong brought by my lola from the province (more rural area)PolvoronSiopaoSiomai VendorYema CakePuto BumbongStick-oTattoos Corn Tube Spicy CheeseComputer Shop Screen Computer Shop (as of 2024, notice new Roblox layout); 10 pesos (0.18 US dollars) per hourKids playing pogs (April 2014)a fire filipino trap/hiphop playlist 🔥Inside of a busSlightly blurred view, likely from a moving vehicle, of leafy green trees; small blue and white plastic items are caught in the upper branches of the central tree.View over tropical vegetation and rooftops towards an elevated concrete bridge or viaduct, with green hills in the background under a cloudy sky.Roadside view of a lush green hill topped by a tall white statue, with a building visible on the slope, under a partly cloudy sky.View from a bridge overlooking a waterway with a large dredging barge moored near a small, tree-covered headland topped with a white observation tower.Close-up of a large, industrial dredging barge with tall twin spuds anchored in choppy water, with a smaller support vessel alongside and distant land on the horizon.View, slightly blurred by motion, of a small, tree-covered rocky headland featuring a white observation tower and structures, seen across the water.Wide landscape of green agricultural fields leading to distant hazy mountains under a cloudy sky, with power lines overhead.Green fields bordered by trees and bushes under a cloudy sky, with hazy mountains in the distance and power lines overhead; likely taken from a moving vehicle.View from a bridge over a wide, flat expanse of dry, light-colored sand or silt (likely a riverbed or lahar plain) stretching to distant trees under a hazy sky.Large, leafy green tree dominating a dry, grassy field, with a small palm tree in the foreground and more trees in the distance under a pale sky. Young boy in a yellow shirt and 'I Heart Australia' cap climbs a ramp using a thick knotted rope during an outdoor activity; older adults (faces obscured) are nearby on the dirt ground.Outdoor gathering of a large group of children, young adults, and older adults under the shade of trees, appearing to listen to a speaker in the center.Interior view of a crowded bus cabin, slightly blurred, showing seated passengers (faces obscured) beneath overhead racks, with blue curtains at the windows.

Last Updated on August 12, 2025